When the harsh reality of things is bound to confront you, life just feels so difficult to deal with. And you find yourself trying to get through the bad things that you anticipate to happen by crying every once in a while, asking peace from God Almighty and filling the void with light-hearted entertainment.
It sucks to be in this kind of situation. Especially if you are the kind of person who instinctively associates the current state of things with events in the past that bring about similar or at least related but slightly lesser feelings.
Writing about it will not lessen the possibility of a horrible outcome. But it does help let go of some of the underlying horror left after wailing. But there will be some left. And frankly, I am very scared.
My last hope is that God will have mercy and keep it from happening. I have no idea how my family will get through this, let alone my dad, who has endured so much suffering in the past two years. It makes me extremely sad to think how in a short period of happiness since the horrible incident happened in 2012, we might encounter something just as bad.
It makes me envy my peers, who can talk nothing more than their dinner last night or where they travelled to. I am happy for them, but I would do anything to change places with anyone who has no big issue to worry about.
If anyone can send my family prayers, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. There is no concrete conclusion as of now, but there will be drastic changes in the way that we do things if the worst, indeed, happened.